Culver’s is Our Midwest Version of In-N-Out Burger. Only Better.
Before you hate-read this article, hold on. We know that In-N-Out Burger is the original cult-following, have-to-stop-there, first-ever secret menu, fast food restaurant. The burgers are consistently good every time. They’re even open late into the night to save you from a next-day hangover. We need more places like In-N-Out. Just our luck, we have one right here in the Midwest and it so happens to be even better. Welcome to Delicious. And welcome to the next burger craze.
Going Back to Cali…. I don’t think so.
If you haven’t been to In-N-Out Burger it’s probably because they’re limited to California, Arizona, Nevada Utah, and Texas. Like the scarcity of your dad’s nudie magazines in the 80’s, this is what helps create so much desire. It’s the sultry law of supply and demand, people. That’s why when you’re in the area, especially California, you should check it out. And people do. Rarely will you not find a line around the building. And while In-N-Out proponents knock Culver’s for having to wait 5-10 minutes for their Culver’s order, isn’t that better than waiting in line to order for 20 minutes? On the flipside of that burger, Culver’s are in 26 states. They obviously don’t need scarcity to make them popular. They just rely upon incredible food, including their world-famous butter burgers.
Get Smashed
Competition runs hot between these two burger joints probably because both places are slinging that meat using fresh, never frozen or prepackaged ingredients. Could the difference be in the preparation? Based on our TikTok research, about two-in-three chefs claim the secret to making the meat is a butter baste. And, hello, that’s what makes the “butter burger” is so damn BUTTA. Add to that, they’re technically a smash burger. And a thinner, caramelized crust is all the rage. Nobody wants a thick, mom-made burger where a busted-ass bun is holding on for dear life to a half-cooked, three-inch meatball. You’ve seen Eddie Murphy Raw, correct?
Side Hustle
Yeah, yeah yeah, people don’t go to fast food restaurants for the sides. But here in the Midwest we love our potlucks and state fairs and that variety is why we also love Culver’s. Crinkle cut fries come with all the meals. And yes, those are better than In-N-Outs fries. Any smaller and crunchier and they’d come in a cardboard can branded with a Pik-Nik Shoestring Potatoes label. But here’s the real pro tip. Skip the fries and order the onion rings. They’re easily the best fast food onion rings you’ll eat. From there, you can get pretzel bites with cheese, chili, soup, broccoli, mashed potatoes, and one final side dish that’ll give you all those state fair vibes. The Curd de la Curd: Wisconsin cheese curds made with two kinds of cheddar cheese. Take your pick kids. And don’t even say there’s too many choices. You shop on Amazon.
Beyond the Burger
In addition to a better burger (Jesus, now they have me saying it) Culver’s has options other than burgers for those moments when your family members can’t agree on where to grab food. In addition to Reubens, corndogs, grilled cheese, pot roast, pork loin and salads, these items below are far from second tier menu options. In fact, we’d argue they’d beat out the market leaders in each of their respective categories.
Chicken tenders: These are the perfect road trip food. Real-chicken breast, easy to handle, non-greasy, yet perfectly dunkable. No need to wait 23 cars deep at Canes for greasy, crumbly-ass chicken that doesn’t even fit in the sauce cup. Some might even argue the Canes sauce and bread are the best things on their menu.
Chicken sandwiches: Call a cease fire Popeyes, Chick-fi-A and KFC. Oppenheimer must have created this chicken sandwich because it dropped a bomb ending the Chicken Sandwich War. Pick between crispy, spicy or grilled and then top it with up to 15 different sauces including their own special signature sauce, ranch, Sweet Baby Rays BBQ, Ken’s Boom Boom, Frank’s RedHot Buffalo and more.
Fish: Culver’s cod sandwich is like getting an authentic Wisconsin Friday night fish fry from a drive-thru window. And then comes Lent when they serve real Wisconsin Walleye, turning it from being like a Wisconsin Friday fish fry to an actual Wisconsin fish fry. Who does that? Not McDonalds. They use something called Alaskan Pollock. Huh? Name one of your friends who’s ever caught a Pollock.
Dessert: Just when you think your stomach is full, Culver’s reminds you just how Wisconsin they truly are, going beyond ice cream with frozen custard. So much better than the standard milkshake you’ll find at In-N-Out, this custard is a Wisconsin’s dairy cow’s refreshing gift to your sweaty mouth. Custard is also the main ingredient in their signature Concrete Mixer, cementing Culver’s dominance over not only In-N-Out Burger, but also Dairy Queen, as it makes their blizzard look more like a light dusting.
The Culver’s Cult. Now Taking Applications.
Let the hate mail begin. We know you In-N-Outers are a passionate group. Whether you believe it really is a better tasting burger or you have a special bond from years of memories, In-N-Out is a cult classic. And we tip out Culver’s cap to you. However, people here in the Midwest have something equally as delicious and unique to our hometown area. It’s time we fully embrace it. With our luck it will become so popular we’ll end up waiting in the drive-thru line behind dozens of cars with California plates.
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