“The Real Housewives” of The Midwest: Can You Say Passive Aggressive?
Bravo’s franchise of “The Real Housewives” has been around since Orange County appeared in 2006. Since then, it has reached New York City, Atlanta, Beverly Hills, Dallas, even Dubai as of recently and the list goes on. From table flipping to leg throwing, “The Real Housewives” is not short of drama, rich lifestyles and just flat out craziness. With the franchises on the East and West Coast, and the South as well, you can’t help but to ask, “Where are the Midwest housewives?”
In case you haven’t experienced the rollercoaster that is the housewives, here is a clip from the New York housewives that gives you an idea of what happens when you put drunk women with strong personalities in one room.
Of course the Midwest is forgotten. Viewers are too focused on the luxurious lifestyles of the ladies in la la land that they overlook the core of America. But the luxurious lifestyle appears in the Midwest as well. With cities like Chicago and Minneapolis, “The Real Housewives” could thrive in an underrepresented new area.
In the past, fans have theorized that the housewives are not in the Midwest because there isn’t any drama. Apparently the phrase “Minnesota Nice” has lived up to its name. But, maybe the drama just isn’t like the other franchises. In fact, the people and the culture would fit “The Real Housewives,” but have its own angle. The drama, houses, even drinks have their own twist. Let’s dive into what all of these would look like if “The Real Housewives of the Midwest” were… real.
The Drama
In New York, the drama is right in your face and is gone as fast as it arrived. In Beverly Hills, the drama is behind-the-back gossip, and it eventually comes forward and lasts forever. In the Midwest, the drama would be the most passive aggressive thing you’ve ever seen. For example, one of the housewives doesn’t get invited to the lake cabin when the rest of the housewives were there. The next time she sees the host she would say “I heard you all had a great time at the cabin!” She would secretly be annoyed and “forget” to invite the host the next time she has people over (and you bet your ass there would be drama about hockey). Whether it’s whose husband is doing better in the league or whose son is going to be a star, the Midwest housewives would be at the center of it all.
The Houses
One of the many reasons that fans love the housewives franchise is getting to see all their designer labels and of course, their massive houses. Described in one word, these houses are extra. For example, “The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills” has a new member to their inner circle, Diana Jenkins, who recently sold her oceanside home in Malibu for $87 million. That’s definitely a pretty penny and something you wouldn’t quite get in most neighborhoods in the Midwest (unless we are looking at Edina…).
The midwestern houses aren’t as extra as the ones in California, but they are still luxurious and modern. They are what we like to call “sneaky rich.” There would be large and updated homes but the homes would still have an apparent essence of the Home Goods sale section and family heirlooms. The average viewer wouldn’t think of them as super wealthy but come to find out they have a massive boat on Lake Minnetonka, a lake house up north, a condo somewhere warm and take a minimum of 10 vacations a year. The wealth is there, just not as in your face as other franchise locations.
The Drinks
The Orange County housewives run on tequila and champagne. The New York housewives have a dirty martini any hour of the day. In the Midwest, beer and wine is the drink of choice. Of course they will still indulge in their fair share of vodka sodas and margaritas, however most of the Midwest housewives grew up with wine coolers and Busch lattes. And in typical midwest fashion, they will stick to their roots. The housewives live for a good white wine and can’t turn down a good ol’ beer on a boat. Every franchise has their signature drink, and beer is the signature drink of the Midwest.
Who knows if the Midwest housewives will ever get the chance to star on TV. Maybe the Midwest has just become too sneaky that the rest of the world isn’t aware of the potential entertainment of our culture. We can only hope to see some representation in the future but in the meantime, “The Real Housewives” franchises can all make us feel a little more safe and sane about living in the Midwest.
