E:60 Red Wings Vs. Avalanche ‘Unrivaled’—3 Stars.
If you’re a hockey fan you probably did two things this weekend. You watched Game 6, because no matter who you root for, hockey fans like to see Lord Stanley’s Cup get doled out. For hockey fans seeing the Cup get kissed and passed around by a bunch of ginger bearded warriors is an annual rite of passage. It’s the hockey fan equivalent of watching the Rockefeller Center Christmas tree lighting or singing Auld Lang Syne on New Year’s Eve. When those white gloves go on, and the Cup gets handed out—it’s must-see TV, no exceptions. F*ckin’ Rights!
The other thing you probably did this weekend was watch the Red Wings Colorado Avalanche E:60 ‘Unrivaled’ documentary. And it was good, for all the obvious reasons: palpable hate, meaningful nostalgia, goalie fights, Vladimir Konstantinov playing UNO; even a bit of forgiveness by Darren McCarty (but not Kris Draper) of one Claude Lemieux. And while we’re sure you liked ‘Unrivaled’ for all the obvious reasons, that’s not what Pulltab Sports is here for. No, we’re here to help you see a few things you loved, but maybe didn’t know you did.
So, without further ado, here are our 3 stars for Red Wings Avalanche ‘Unrivaled’:
Third Star: Scar-faces
You know how your dad taught you to break in your baseball glove by rubbing it with oil and putting it under your mattress? Well, if there was ever a doubt the NHL was a more rugged place pre-lockout, look no further than the battle torn faces of the Red Wings Vs. Avalanche ‘Unrivaled’ documentary. Even the skill guys like Joe Sakic and Steve Yzerman have faces like a catcher’s mitt. They don’t just have scars, they have the super cool hockey scars where you have like a line above your lip, or a dent in your cheek, or maybe just a dark spot on your forehead, for some reason.
If you were to squint watching ‘Unrivaled,’ you might think you were watching a UFC pay-per-view or maybe a bullfight, because these violent gentlemen are all wearing their entire hockeydb pages on their mugs later in life. It’s unbelievable. Absolute warriors. Best. Sport. Ever.
It seems the only strategy post-career if you played during the blood fest that was the NHL in the 1990’s and early 2000’s is to grow a beard like Peter Forsberg and Patrick Roy. At least this way some of the dents and divots are covered by hair. It’s either that, or morph into hockey’s version of the Flea from the Chili Peppers like Darren McCarty seems to have done. Well played 25, well played.
Second Star: The old ESPN
The contrast between watching Steve Levy, Mark Messier, and Chris Chelios politely navigate Game 6, and the ‘Stranger Things’ level of nostalgia seeing the old ESPN commentators in ‘Unrivaled’ was striking. It was a reminder of both how special hockey on ESPN used to be, and how far it has fallen today. Of course, Messier and Chelios have earned their stripes as warriors themselves—but ‘Unrivaled’ was an important reminder that sometimes the best talking heads are people who are the best at being talking heads as opposed to the best former players.
Seeing and hearing Brian Engblom, Gary Thorne, and the Sports Center talent of the time was a painful reminder how far backwards we’ve gone with ESPN’s current on-air product. In fact, just seeing these old dogs made me wonder if we could wind any of them back up again. Let’s get Bill Clement and Gary Thorne a few vials of the baby blood Tom Cruise is drinking for anti-aging and get them back on the scene. You know you’re not killing it with the current on-air hockey team when people are Googling, “Is Bill Clement still alive.”
Maybe ESPN is like MTV. It’s only special in the rearview mirror, and we can’t go back. That may be the case but moving from current day Game 6 to the vintage hockey product on ‘Unrivaled’ will have you looking on Craig’s List for a 1981 Delorean.
First Star: GWG—Game-Winning-Goatees.
Perhaps the greatest strength of the Red Wings Avalanche ‘Unrivaled,’ was the reminder it gave the world that we all miss goatees. We do. Is there anything more 1990’s than a greasy goatee? It’s the facial hair equivalent of drinking a Zima while wearing a zipper shirt while waiting in line for the new Pearl Jam record to be released at midnight at Tower Records.
Goatees are awesome. Why don’t we do them anymore? Are they the facial hair equivalent of the “George Clooney ER Caesar haircut?” Why do goatees embarrass us now when they’re clearly so awesome? Why did we ever stop? Just take one look at the smile on Brendan Shanahan’s face as he’s mobbed by teammates with his gorgeous goatee and it’s easy to see goatees should be omnipresent in culture. And for the record, there are more goatees in Red Wings Avalanche ‘Unrivaled’ than there were at Woodstock 1994. I may start growing one now.
In summary, yes ‘Unrivaled’ is good for all the reasons you think it is, and some you didn’t.
Bonus Star #1: Brian Burke referring to any flesh wound that’s 10 stitches or less as “a shaving cut” is truly amazing. Did we mention he oversaw player safety at the time?
Bonus Star #2: Darren McCarty sitting on the floor and using a spitter is maybe the most masculine thing I’ve ever seen in a sports documentary. If only he had a goatee.
