C-Notes: Gophers Back On Track And Ready For Border Battle.
Okay, we’ll admit it. Things got a little weird there for a second. The juggernaut 2020-21 University of Minnesota hockey team dropped their first loss of the season to hated Wisconsin. Then Notre Dame swept them?! Actually, the Irish didn’t sweep the Gophers—they “mopped” them because they left so much mud on the track with their utterly boring defensive style of play. Coach Motzko even wore a black mask for a game or two. It was odd.
Bob in a black mask?! This never happened. Like for real, it didn’t happen.
But after a twenty-goal outburst against Arizona State, and a sweep of Ohio State last weekend—the Gophers are back. And C-Notes is back too, let’s kick the tires, shall we:
Shampoo Ranta
If Sampo Ranta was any more NHL ready, they’d have to put him in NHL 21.
Okay, there was a slight hesitation to gush about Mr. Ranta. While he certainly showed flashes early in the season, he was playing on the perimeter a bit, and at times seemed hesitant to share the puck.
Well, it just doesn’t matter. The NHL skillset on Ranta is unmatched. And how in the world did we not know this kid’s nickname was “Shampoo” because of his great hair?! Watching Ranta is a real treat night in and night out. Motzko must love it, he must feel like a kid with a shiny new toy. Can we please get someone to make a Shampoo Ranta doll, so all the little girls and boys across Minnesota can have as much fun as Coach Motzko must be having. They could wash his hair, and change him from his Gopher jersey to street clothes and a tattoo sleeve. We’d sell a bunch.
Coming to a toy store near you: the Shampoo Ranta doll.
Shampoo has 19 points, and his whopping 12 goals are second in the Nation behind only Wisconsin’s Cole Caufield. And Ranta is a player that will only get better as the skill around him elevates as he works his way toward the NHL.
Finns are typically known as hard workers. This is the country that tries their hardest in the bronze medal game! Finns never take a night off. The “pesky” Finns—that’s the adjective they’re usually assigned. Not Shampoo, he comes from that special place where only certain Finns like Teemu Selänne come from. Most Finns are Avis— they might not be first, but they “try harder.” Nope, not Shampoo. Ranta isn’t pesky, he’s flashy. And lucky for Gopher fans, this Finn isn’t playing for bronze, he’s playing for our Golden Gophers.
Like Teemu before him, Ranta comes from the flashy side of Finland.
Sammy is Smiling Again
The Gophers have enough depth this year that the burden of delivering doesn’t fall on any one player, but a happy Sammy Walker usually means a happy Gopher team. Three seasons into his Gopher hockey career, captain Walker has consistently placed more pressure on himself than any of us could—and the result has too often had him gripping the stick too tight. But this appears to be changing right before our eyes as Walker is coming off a couple huge weekends and appears to be taking his chemistry with Blake McLaughlin to new heights.
On-ice chemistry with McLaughlin has Captain Walker all smiles again.
Reedy Makes Us All Feel Safe
You can admit it, it’s just not the same when Scott Reedy isn’t in the lineup. Reedy missed both games when Notre Dame mopped the Gophers, and the senior continues to play the big brother roll with this group of forwards. Like Walker, Reedy will be a load bearing wall down the stretch, if this Gopher team hopes to make some noise in the post season.
In Reedy we trust.
Don’t Poke the Bear
Some of you may have noticed last Friday night when Brannon McManus got rocked by a Ohio State check early in the game, someone in the rink yelled “It’s not Arizona State no more!” To whoever yelled this, I’d kindly refer you to the Gopher roster. If our talent was any deeper we’d need a headlamp to read it. The Gophers were winning 2-0 moments after someone shouted this, and they would go on to sweep the Buckeyes. Yes, this Gopher isn’t a bear you should poke.
Slap Shots & Flip Flops
Also, let’s go easy on Arizona State. As a college hockey fan, I’m happy they’re here. You have to love what these guys have done. Consider the Sun Devils made the NCAA tournament two years ago, and would have again last year was the season not cancelled. ASU has awesome new uniforms and clearly must be a hell of a place to play. I’m imagining a giant Slap Shots & Flip Flops party with Sun Devil players jumping off rooftops into swimming pools. I hope this is happening. So let’s quit bullying the new kid.
Also, is there anything more ASU than having a really good kid on your team named Johnny Walker? I mean, come on. That’s like Notre Dame having a kid named Jameson or Boston College having a big blueliner named Sam Adams. And while Arizona State may have given up twenty to the Gophers last series, the aforementioned Johnny Walker did have a nice lacrosse style goal against us, so we made him a new logo. You’re welcome.
Let’s be nice to the new kids. They seem pretty cool.
Jonny So So Soprano
As for nicknames, Shampoo Ranta is superb, but we need to put Jonny So So on the nickname podium as well. This beautiful mash up of Sopranos and St. Louis Park makes me want to pull a slice of Capocollo out of the fridge every time I hear his name called. The sophomore Sorenson has shown he can find the net scoring four goals while not playing on a top line.
Jonny So So Soprano has been chipping in.
The Gophers are ranked #2 with a 15-3-0 record through 18 games. They have 10 games left before the post season begins, and some key questions remain.
Who Is Our Prick?
When Gopher fans watch Wisconsin this weekend, I expect some blood will boil Badger red watching Roman Ahcan play. With apologies to Pat Verbeek, the 5’9” Ahcan is the Badgers little ball of hate. Great teams always have a prick. Someone you absolutely despise that gets under your skin. The guy who with one tap on the shoulder, will do the things that need to be done. Gopher fans will remember Ryan Lindgren in this role in the past. Sometimes it’s a resident pest, or occasionally it’s a skill player that everyone seems to hate. Kyle Rau had this effect on people, as does current Wild forward Joel Eriksson Ek. Having a “face you want to punch,” goes a long way in the post season. It might be a bruiser, or just a guy who yells “WOO!” a little too loud as they skate by the other team’s bench after a goal. Either way, the Gophers could benefit from some added sandpaper down the stretch.
It would seem this player might be hulking defenseman Matt Staudacher. Staudacher’s game is as blue collar as a blacksmith. The strong silent type, Staudacher could become the Gophers’ man-child meets Mice of Men as he squeezes opposing forwards just a little too tight. Or maybe we have a couple of the cake eaters find their inner villain. Could Sammy Walker pop his collar and start playing on the edge down the stretch—smiling the entire time? Or maybe big Ben Brinkman looks at the revamped blueline of skill guys around him, and decides the best way for him to contribute is to start bringing the wood.
If it’s not those guys, it would seem Jack Perbix(6’1” 190 lbs.) or Jaxon Nelson (6’4” 220 lbs.) could become royal pains in the asses, generally anyone with an “X” in their name would seem to make an excellent villain. Or maybe the new kid, Carl Fish. He’s an East Sider, he must know his way around the mean streets.
Cullen Munson Will Do Something Special
You heard it here first: somewhere, somehow, sometime—old #13 is going to be a hero for this year’s Golden Gopher team. We’re not sure when, but Munson is precisely the type of role player / depth guy that is there when you really need him. We will be running our ones and twos against somebody else’s ones and twos all night long, and Munson is going to push through the swinging doors of the saloon and end a game with a big play for the Gophers. It will happen.
What is Bob cooking up for us?
While the C-Notes column is already the official fan club president for Motzko’s yellow snow colored mask, we had no idea what coach was cooking up under there. Turns out that Motzko’s PPE also doubles as an Easy Bake oven, as he’s added a glorious little lip caterpillar of his own. Yes, Coach Motzko appears to have the perfect conditions under his mask to grow a classic chrysalis, a legendary larva. Motzko is putting a big golden “M” on metamorphosis with the science experiment he’s been undertaking under that mask. And to that we say, “Eureka!” He looks brilliant. With his new mustache, Motzko is like a B1G 10 Mr. Belvedere, and this will only help us down the stretch.
He’s the B1G 10 Mr. Belvedere!
Defensemen Activate!
It wouldn’t be C-Notes, if we didn’t take a few moments to give thanks for our puck moving defensemen. They’re not game changers, they’re a program changers. Jackson Lacombe continues to prove “honey is money” leading all blueliners in scoring with 12 points. A few of the goals shorthanded, which is becoming a specialty.
Brock Faber was described recently by a Gopher assistant coach as “a gift to the program.” Well said, although we’d still like to see Faber play a shift or two in his glasses. If he’s unwilling to don the spectacles in game play, perhaps he could switch to a tortoise shell cage on his helmet.
The Warby Parker gangster—Brock Faber.
Border Battle
Despite all of their success, this weekend will tell us a lot about our Gophers as they host #11 Wisconsin for a pair of big games. The Badgers are currently second in the B1G 10, and have their own bevy of talent.
That said, this year’s Gopher team is special and has been nothing but fun to watch. We have the talent, they’re well coached, and they’re playing for each other. So, let’s not act like normal Minnesota sports fans suffering from PTSD. Let’s act like the Gopher fans of yore.
What does that mean? It means expect to win. Actually, expect to win twice. Understand that these rodents are predator not prey. Approach the border battle like the hunter that takes the warm heart out of a fresh kill and bites into it with the blood dripping down his chin. Maybe shave down your beard into a nice Aaron Rodgers mustache and take a trip to the Mall of America to load up on cheese from that weird Wisconsin store. And don’t forget to run across the border for a case or two of Spotted Cow, and a butter burger from Culver’s on the way home. Why? Because if you want to eat from the border battle buffet, you need to be willing to devour a still beating badger heart.
Because this weekend we take what is rightfully ours. And we have no plans to give it back.
Go Gophers!
What pairs well with fresh badger meat? A nice malbec.
