P.J. Fleck's Odds In a Fist Fight vs Every Big 10 West Coach

So we’re 2-2…

Not an ideal record (especially after last week) but hey, things could be worse, way worse. First off there isn’t anyone doing much better in the Big 10 West which means we’re still ranked 3rd overall, and second, we could be Purdue.

But rather than focusing on our fight on the field, I’d like to take this time to take a bit of a hyptoethical walk and discuss our fight off the field, or rather, PJ’s fight, literally.

I’m going to break down all 6 Big 10 West Coaches and assess how our Oar Loving, Phrase Coining, Top Speed Sprinting leader would do in a straight on fist fight, so let’s start by breaking down our man in the maroon corner:

PJ Fleck: Height – 5’10 / Weight: 205 / Reach: 6’1 / Age: 42

Assessment: No doubt about it he’s a volume puncher. A guy who’s gunning for a knockout in the first 3 rounds, he’s the type of fighter who will overwhelm you with ferocity. His height and weight will encourage him to take the fight inside, and his stamina will allow him to keep it there so long as he protects himself, something his wingspan is well suited for.

Against: Luke Fickell / Height - 6’4 / Weight: 235 / Reach: 6’3 / Age: 50

Assessment: If Fleck had to facedown the wayward warrior of Wisconsin, this would be one hell of a scrap. A former player himself, Fickell’s got the heft and the mitts to lay down some heavy blows, but here’s the thing; He was a lineman, and everybody knows those guys can’t move. Add to that, he’s got a torn ACL to his name, so he really can’t move. Compare that against Fleck who, on a weekly basis outsprints an entire team of 20 something year old Division 1 athletes out of the game tunnel, and that should tell you all you need to know about who’s got the stamina to go 8 rounds.

Winner: Fleck wins by decision 8/10 times if he forces the fight to go the distance, Fickell’s gassing out on bad legs & poor stamina, no knockout but Fleck’s tactical use of the jab will secure him the scorecard victory.

Against: Kirk Ferentz / Height – 6’1 / Weight: 190 / Reach: 6’0 / Age: 68

Assessment: This guy is a bag of dust. No way he’s only 68. Before I googled how old he was I had him pegged around the same age as those heads on Easter Island. Fleck sweeps, Ferentz would be lucky to even make it to the ring without having a heart attack. We hate Iowa.

Winner: Fleck (and Father Time)

Against: David Braun / Height – 5’11. Weight: 185: Reach: 5’9. Age: 38

Assessment: Northwestern’s Interim guy is Fleck’s closest physical matchup so far, but talent on the sheet doesn’t always translate to talent in the street. He lacks bite and is the type of fighter to back himself into corner while he thinks of a gameplan. You know what Fleck does to guys like that? Left Hook to Right Hook to Uppercut. If this guy can barely handle a media barrage, how’s he supposed to handle a barrage of Fleck fists?

Winner: Fleck

Against: Bret Bielma / Height–6’2 / Weight: Roughly a Kenmore Fridge / Reach: 6’0 / Age: 53

Assessment: Big Bret Bielma is a problem, he’s a former nose tackle, and if there’s one thing you should know about nose tackles, those guys are tough. Physically he’s a stout figure, definitely capable of absorbing blows and commanding the center of the ring. Most concerningly, he grew up a hog farmer, if he can wrangle a panicked pig that throws doubt on Fleck’s stick & move gameplan. All in all, one wrong move from Fleck and it’s lights out nights out, what happens when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object?

Winner: Bielma

5th Opponent – Matt Rhule: Height – 5’6: Weight: 225: Reach: 5’9. Age: 48

Assessment: This guy is built like a cannonball. Definitely seems like the bull-rushing type but almost certainty lacks technique. Fleck KO’s this guy using his own momentum, lets him get all revved up then catches him with a swift counter punch after Rhule bites on a head feint. The visual in my head is very matador-esque, with this fight agility wins the day.

Winner: Fleck

6th Opponent – Ryan Walters: Height – 6’0: Weight: 200: Reach: 6’2. Age: 37

Assessment: This guy is young, like really young. Noted as the 4th youngest coach in the FBS, and a former safety at that, we might’ve finally found the guy who supersedes Fleck in Stamina. BUT, youth has a way of leading to overeagerness, there’s a lot to learn about the fight game & the football game young fella (1-3 don’t forget). This is the fight that Fleck let’s come to him, this young buck is going to take pride in his physical stats and it’ll be his downfall. A few more years until his belt and maybe this is more even contest, but experience must be learned and earned, and for that reason Fleck catches him with a 1/4/6 combo that he’s just never seen before. Face to canvas, game over.

Winner: Fleck.