Fun-Sizing Halloween For Adults
Tomfoolery.
Stuff you’ll love, as silly as it is. Check out contributor Tommy Lord getting real with random nonsense.
Halloween is different. Call it the black sheep (or black cat) of holidays because nobody’s getting the day off work and kids aren’t getting the day off school. While there’s no real gifting being done, what it does have is lots of variations of candy. What if we could bring that concept of fun-sized treats to grown-ups? We already have oversized bags of assorted goodies for kids; imagine the fun-sized assortments we could create for adults!
Boozy Buddies
Think about this… You’re walking through a Cub Liquor Store and you come across a giant bag of assorted mini-airplane bottles of booze. Oh, the joy this would bring! Tiny little sip-sized Jameson, Maker’s Mark, Stoli or Patrón? And why not mix in some lesser-known booze too, like how bulk candy bags include treats like Airheads or Smarties. That way you’d have some manageable quantities of booze such as Blue Curacao, Grand Marnier and Malibu to be able to make some interesting cocktails you otherwise might not.
The Nic Pack
Seems like among Pulltab Sports fans, nicotine is more popular than ever. Stimulating lip biscuits like Zyn and Onz are what all the degenerate cool kids are doing. How about a fun-sized Nicotine pack featuring all your favs? This could include Skoal or Copenhagen in tiny Carmex jar-sized tins. Perhaps this pack also contains one-y vape pens or, hell, even tiny 3 packs of single Marlboro lights for a tasty after-dinner lung snack.
The Rom Com
Not to say the ladies aren’t interested in any of the adult fun-sized snacks we’ve talked about thus far, but how about something just for them. This next variety pack is the equivalent of all the feelings you’d get from a Hallmark movie. Let’s start with some mini bottles of wine. Now sure, you might need 5-10 of these little guys to keep the fun going, but just like the dozens of mini peanut butter cup wrappers laying around the day after Halloween—ain’t nobody counting here. Rounding out this cozy-time snack pack are Babybel cheeses, tea-light candles and hotel room proportioned lotions. What’s romance without the ambiance of flickering lights and chemically produced scents?
The Stoner
For those participating in Sober October and trying to stay off the booze, here’s a California Sober combo for you. Mini packets of THC gummies will turn any scary Halloween from freaky to cheeky. If you’re drawn to the outdoors to experience those vivid fall colors, we’ve included some hacky sacks in this pack. And once your munchies kick in, this sampler comes stocked with a variety of salty hand snacks including Funyuns, Doritos and Corn Nuts to crunch through the purple haze.
The Kwik Trip Top Shelf
In this last Halloween inspired candy bowl are all the best things you could pull together from a Kwik Trip or similar gas station. Since we’ve already covered off on chips and nicotine, let’s start this pack off with scratch-off tickets. With all the excitement these cause, there must be a chemical reaction between a coin and the metallic ink that raises dopamine levels in your body. And while you’re working through those tickets, you’re going to need some nutritional essentials. Therefore, this fun-sized mixed bag comes complete with energy drinks, dill pickle sunflower seeds, beef jerky and prepackaged, waxed, chocolate Hostess Donettes. With a variety pack this good, you might be compelled to jump in a car and take these snacks where they belong – on an epic road trip.
Halloween Fun For Everyone
Halloween doesn’t just need be for the kids. So instead of squeezing into a costume and secretly trick-or-treating like a wannabe pubescent teen on a nostalgia trip, why not pull together your own fun-sized Halloween treats? We don’t need candy when we have our own grown-up goodies.
