“Nobody Wants This” is Bringing Healthy Communication Back.
Welcome to Twenty Something. This column- written by Caitlyn Garrity– explores the uncharted territory called your 20s. It’s funny, it’s witty, it’s honest.
Netflix's hit new series, “Nobody Wants This,” is a refreshing watch in an era of darker portrayals of toxic relationships.
The show, starring Adam Brody and Kristen Bell, centers around Noah (Brody), a “hot” rabbi fresh out of a long-term relationship with his ex Rebecca (played by Emily Arlook). Noah ends up meeting Joanne (Kristen), a “Shiska” who is the co-host of a sex and relationship podcast called “Nobody Wants This” (voila, the name of the show) with her flippantly blunt sister Morgan, played by the incredible Justine Lupe.
Between the budding relationship of Joanne and Noah, there are immediate roadblocks to their path to love. A huge one involving Noah’s Jewish faith and his ultimate goal of being head rabbi, which doesn’t pair well with an explicit sex podcaster who identifies as an atheist.
Joanne struggles with her history of toxic behaviors and toxic relationships. At the very start of the series, she mentions on the podcast how she is over toxic relationships and wants to find a healthy one. That proves to be easier said than done.
Noah has a healthy communication style, which is exactly what she says she’s looking for: he says what he means and does what he says. However, his healthy approach to relationships does present a challenge to Joanne. She continues to battle with her past and self-sabotage, like sneaking around to find dirt on him, and struggles with getting Noah’s mother (played by Tovah Feldshuh, a national treasure) to get on board with their relationship and more.
One thing remains true throughout the show: Noah’s persisting interests and growing feelings for Joanne. Yes, they might not be what he imagined for himself, but he can’t help but dive into these feelings, ignoring some of the pressure from his faith and family around him.
It’s hard not to fall in love with Noah, Johanne, and their community. Morgan and Noah’s brother Sasha (Timothy Simons) foster a borderline-suspicious friendship that will undoubtedly bleed into the show's confirmed second season.
The show is based loosely on the show’s creator, Erin Foster, real-life romance, and her writing is insane. A show hasn’t made me laugh out loud alone in my room since Schitt’s Creek, with a similar dry and honest humor. It’s one of the most clever scripts I’ve watched in a long time, and paired with a unique storyline and 20-minute episodes–” Nobody Wants This” is the perfect formula for a binge-in-one-night show.
The writing seamlessly blends humor with a more profound message. The messaging is so subtle that you probably wouldn't see it if you’ve never experienced what Joanne has. Throughout the first season (and probably the ones to come), Joanne is battling severe consequences that often follow long-term toxic relationships—relationships involving a lot of lying, cheating, manipulating, and fear of clear, open, and honest communication.
These relationships often shape our twenties, especially in the era of modern technology. With access to everyone and anyone—and to their information, like what posts they "like" on social media, who they follow, what they search on Google, or where their snap emojis are—toxicity is running rampant in our relationships. It’s more often than not that relationships, especially in our transformative twenties, are littered with gaslighting and a sense of fear of speaking openly.
That’s why “Nobody Wants This” feels light and refreshing, even given some serious topics like religion and dealing with families that struggle to accept you for who you are. For us twenty-somethings, the show’s portrayal of "older" characters—seemingly in their 30s with a few kids—along with the podcast story arc and the depiction of modern technology complicating relationships, is relatable across almost all age groups.
It’s also cool to see a script focused on relationship battles between traditional and modern concepts of religion, as that’s something rarely shown in modern media. However, it remains a topic many women and men must navigate in their relationships, especially with differing opinions on tradition and what it means to uphold one’s faith in the 21st century.
Recently, there has been an increase in shows and movies addressing topics like domestic violence, toxic relationships, and gaslighting. A few prominent examples that have taken over social media are “Tell Me Lies” and, despite some public backlash, “It Ends with Us,” both sparking conversations among women sharing their experiences with toxic and dangerous relationships.
In an era of displaying men that manipulate reality, like Ryle’s abuse or Stephen’s way of shaping perceptions of him, Noah is living and breathing reality. He doesn’t twist the way things are to make things look better.
He embraces the ugly of a situation, particularly with Joanne, and clearly communicates what he wants, who he wants, and what he’s thinking. It’s almost frustrating at times to watch Joanne attempt to self-sabotage this relationship when you get to see his perspective. You’re rooting for them, and above all, you’re rooting for Joanne to finally give into healthy relationships and communication styles (even if it means having a bizarre, manipulative relationship with your potential mother-in-law, but that is for another time)...
In the world of “romanticizing” and sexualizing Stephens, Ryles, and other toxic relationship figures, “Nobody Wants This” is making a man like Noah sexy and desirable again. A man free of games or wonder, just clear communication and having fun with your partner. Compatibility over combativeness. Love over hate. Talking it out instead of yelling and arguing. If we could all be so lucky to find a Noah, I think that by media portraying clear and honest communication in relationships, “Nobody Wants This” could very well bring healthy communication back, and even make it sexy again.
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